Recently, I made a list of ways that I have changed within the last ten years. I compared the things I wrote about and thought about in my journal as a 14-15 year to what I've been writing and thinking about as a 24 (almost 25-year-old). As a 14-year-old, I would sometimes write about the no silliest things; I was less focused on God. I was very insecure about myself, had a hard time making friends, didn't feel smart. Often, if there wasn't a pop star in concert, I didn't know of any other ways to find joy. I would argue with teen girls on the Jonas Brothers fan club website.
At 23, I remember how I created drama with others, offending others and then being easily offended, jumping to many conclusions (that most likely weren't true), forcing things to happen that wasn't God's time for it to happen. I was so angry and frustrated about many things going on in my life. I had felt like a nuisance and began to lose friendships. All along, God just wanted me to take it easy, not to be so hard on myself, and to let go of the stress. The way I was doing things was not going to help me grow in any way. Not only was I hurting myself, but I was hurting others. In light of my difficult journey that year, I learned so much, and I began to foster happy and healthy relationships. I was able to make amends and began a fresh start.
Now at 24, my thoughts and writing are more profound. Still a bit quirky, but wiser. I am more joyous, even though I've experienced a much more challenging time as an adult than a teen; I learned how to find joy and be content in the more intelligible things in life. To take one day at a time, count my blessings, and to be wiser in the way I communicate with others. I'm learning to be more patient with myself and others; I'm beginning to accept myself and love myself for who I am.
I definitely believe that God has answered prayers and slowly reveals his great and awesome plan for my life in my season of change.
“Some changes look negative on the surface, but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge.”
―
