What am I Creating for the Next Generation?

Thinking back on my childhood, I feel like there's been such a drastic change! From the way we communicate with each other, to learning things, to watching tv. I could say that the way things are today are 10* better. But on the other hand, I don't regret learning the way I did as a kid. Though, today's world makes things learning much more efficient with the use of the latest technology, I feel as a kid I had to work really hard to get good grades or wherever you'd like to call it as a homeschooler.

My point is, though I really do believe a change needed to be made to help better our generation; I also believe that there's more things that need to be changed that hasn't been changed yet or hasn't even been mentioned of change. One of my desires or goals as a writer is to create stories that will bring positivity and inspiration to young readers. Though I want my books to be read by all ages, my target age is 12-19 that age range could be the toughest in our society. There's so many things kids experience and struggle with, Self- Esteem and Body Image, Bullying, Peer Pressure, Sex, etc... 
What I noticed by reading YA books and watching Tween/Teen shows is that these issues are surrounded in these tv programs but in a almost not-so-positive way. A lot of teens are tempted to read it or watch it mainly because all of their friends are talking about it and you don't want to feel left out. For teens, especially as Christians, they don't have a lot of things to help them grow in their faith, especially when I was a teen.

My goal that I want to create for our generation is not to necessarily be preachy, but to promote positive things that we may tend to overlook at times. How often do you read a book about someone following their dreams? You'll find 2 out of the 10 romance books. Love is a great thing to write about, but I'm not so happy about the way today's teen authors or movies producers are making teens feel like they have to have sex to really experience true love. There's a few movies I find myself watching with my sister that were about wholesome love which was a really beautiful thing to see; and no, movies aren't all the blame why some teen girls are getting pregnant before they even graduate High School, but again there's still pressure involved and the fear of missing out when your friends are all coming to see the latest teen romance drama or are reading the latest romance novel. Also, seeing the way true love is presented on screen can make it look like so much fun! Yes, true love is fun i'm sure but true love isn't all about having fun. That's the reason why I always felt left out when I wasn't dating anyone as a teen because it seemed like everyone from in the malls and the movie theaters were having so much fun! But I don't believe just having fun with someone will make you want to marry them one day.

With all that being said, I wholeheartedly believe that God has called me to write stories to make a change. To remind young people that their bodies is a temple of the Holy Spirit, 1 Corinthians 6: 18-20 explains it better: "Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have receieved from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies."

We all have struggles, at any age. But being a teen it seems like you face some of the biggest struggles. But entertainment can actually have a big part of our lives and our behavior. Imagine if there more thousands more books and movies about a kid pursuing in their dreams as a doctor, teacher, firefighter, etc... I bet it would spark a lot more hope in today's teens hearts. I know I cannot do this alone, but I want to use whatever I have to help that dream of mine become a reality. Teenagers growing into influential people, leaders, teachers. Teenagers sharing the good news of Christ, teenagers saving themselves for marriage, teenagers refusing to indulge in the drugs or cigarettes that may be offered to them. Teenagers relaying a new message to the world.

As a still somewhat young person, I wanted to take a moment to step into a teenager's shoes. I was nowhere near perfect as a teen, but I also went through many sad stages of feeling left out, and unaccepted, and insecurity issues. I was a different teenager I felt, I didn't really go to any parties or have lots of friends and wasn't into the latest trends. But looking back now, I believe that's ok. It's ok to be different and have different opinions. I want my stories to be different. To stand out and create a new category for teen readers (and adult readers as well).

A lot of us have become so accustomed to the "norm" it's time we take a stand to better teens of today and to reward them with something new and refreshing. Any little thing helps. Our teenagers should begin to feel more confident about themselves and their future.

What am I creating for the next generation? Positve. Inspiration. Joy. Purity. Love. Faith. That's what i'm creating, what are you creating?


Then and Now (Goals I've Accomplished Last Year and Goals for 2020)

It's been forever and a day since I've posted something (at least that's the way it seems). I will say that I go through periods of my life where I'm not sure of myself and that includes myself as a writer. There's numerous things that hinder me from blogging and writing in general; simply no ambition or motivation to write, lack of confidence, life issues, and honestly just unable to come up with good things to write about. One thing I've noticed about anything that I write is that I have a hard time staying on topic. That's one of my greatest weaknesses as a writer. With this being my first blog post of 2020, it's really nerve wrecking, however, I am going to proceed on and focus on the art more so than the technicality of it all, even though, I definitely want my work to look clean and proper, but I'm not going to let that spoil the great enjoyment that I find in writing. Look at me, I'm already procrastinating...

In this post, I wanted to discuss some goals that I've accomplished in 2019.

Permit (One step ahead to my driving goals) - Yes, i'm a latecomer but I am one step ahead now. I was able to finally get my permit and managed to have a pretty decent picture despite the nerves that I was combating that day! I truly believe that 2020 will be the year when I'm finally able to drive, I can't wait until that day.

Started Volunteering at the Library - Starting a volunteer job was a goal of mine for one, I needed another type of activity to keep me occupied other than work and I believed it was a good way to get my foot in the door to help me get a job at the library. I have already learned so much by being a volunteer at the library and I'm looking forward to what I will learn this year. I also feel that the library is a good fit for me because I love reading books and of course I would like to write and publish some books of my own.

Developed in My Social Skills - Though I'm still pretty shy at the start, I definitely believed i've grown in 2019 as far as social skills go. I felt more comfortable talking to both customers at my workplace and coworkers. As I expressed a more confident me and happier me, I began to notice more people attracted to me. If I don't believe i have anything good going for me what makes me think people would believe that i have anything good going for me either? I've read in a few articles how smiling is attractive, and not just for guys to notice but smiling is really a good thing generally. I wanted all people to notice that I have a cheerful side.

I Got Outdoors More - This past summer I felt like I was more motivated to walk, go to the park or just sit on the bench outside. I wanted to make an effort to try to do something outside daily if I could. I did go on a few walks, I sometimes just sat and pondered on some of God's beautiful creations such as the sky, the river and the flowers. Not only did it relax me and allow me to enjoy fresh air, but it also helped me feel a bit more independent. In 2019, it had seemed like it was the year when I really didn't have much freedom and my parents had seemed like they were really strict. I was sad about that quite a bit, that's what motivated me to go outside more and by doing so, I felt a sense of peace.

General Things I Did and/or Learned - I feel like I got closer to God and that my faith had endured. After the passing of my grandmother, uncle and great aunt, all dying pretty close together; it made me begin to make the most of life. Though I'm still learning how to do that, watching a lot of my family members leave this world has definitely been an eye opener for me. I also feel like I gained knowledge in some areas as far as, writing, computer skills, and business. There's things that I've learned how to do like managing my money better, cooking and things to eat and do to keep my body healthy (again, eating healthy is still something I'm struggling with. A girl has to have her Mcdonald's).

Some of the highlights of 2019 would be Passion and the Cross production at my church, that's always been an exciting time for me every year! I can even remember some fun times at work that I had with my coworkers and making new friends at work was also a highlight of 2019, Trunk or Treat, Shawn Mendes concert and Casting Crowns, Hillsong Worship and Elevation worship concert was some really amazing moments of 2019.

Now... onto 2020. I have some pretty big goals for 2020 and some things that I'm praying for.

Get a Car - This is something I'm really hoping for because it's been so hard to make plans and commitments with no transportation of your own. Not only having my own car more convenient but, I would be a lot more independent. Having my own car would be a huge life changer for me and my siblings. I believe it's the time and I know that God can do it.

Get Involved with the Young Adults Ministry at My Church - I grew in my friendships in 2019 but not as much as I could've. So I would to be able to grow both in God and in my relationships.

Travel - It's always nice to explore other parts of the world.

Get a Better Job - Preferably library or school.

Take Courses in Creative Writing - Because I'm always willing to learn all there is to know about writing.

Have a Big Birthday Party - Especially considering I'll be 25 this year!

Have a Fun Day Out With Friends - Because I'm really due for one

Form My Own Writing Group - It seems to be a really cool and fun thing to do. Hear stories and get inspiration from fellow writers and just to be able to learn about each other as well.

Be More Independent - Being able to do things for yourself is such a great privilege.

Grow in My Relationship with God - Generally taking more time to prayer and read the Bible everyday before any other thing I do.

Grow My Blog - I believe this blog has great potential and I'm willing to continue to keep working hard on it to make it better and better.

Write Daily - Whether it's a few sentences in my journal, blog or social media I believe that there's great growth for any aspiring writer to write something everyday and even great therapy for me as well.

Every year and everyday, my aim is to always find ways to improve myself. I want to love more, forgive more and be more patient. I want to believe in myself and feel good about myself. I want to trust God wholeheartedly and give my all to Him. I want to be a better Christian, a better daughter, a better sister and a better friend. I know that God is shaping my life and he's going to work through in unimaginable ways. I ready for growth and renewal in this new season.

Please fee free to give your feedback on any of my posts. Also, don't forget to follow all of my socal media pages for updates! Instagram @prissypatrice24 Twitter @Turbotyper16 and Facebook @trissywal. I'd also like to hear what your new year's plans are and what you have already accomplished in the new year. I Look forward to the next time I wil blog with you guys,

Until next time...

Be Brave. Love Always. Never Stop Dreaming


The Beauty of a Memory

A lot of us really treasure memories. That's why nowadays a lot of people always has their phones out capturing every little detail or moment in life, then it's all locked up in a portable electronic device. it's really cool when you really think about it. Imagine if we never took the time to capture special moments like prom, weddings, graduation or getting your braces off! We probably would feel a bit of emptiness in our lives because we never got a chance to keep those big moments in with us. WE probably feel a little saddened even that we don't have an opportunity to look back on those memories. I know I would be.

I really enjoyed thinking about the whole idea of how special memories really are. By having pictures in our phones or in a physical photo album, it's like keepsakes all locked up in our hearts. We carry these memories wth us daily. Of course, all memories aren't great, maybe a lot of us want to wash some memories away as quick as our minds would allow us. The memory of the day you lost a loved one, the day you got in a bad fight with someone, the day that the love of your life broke your heart, all these things can be shattering moments to us. With that being said, I did want to share some of my best memories.

Best Memories of My Life So Far... 

The Day I Got My Braces Off - I was thrilled when I was finally getting the clinks off! Lol. Honestly speaking though, it was really a great day to be able to reveal my beautiful smile that had been in the works for 3 years! The process of getting the braces off were uncomfortable. They had put this really gooey stuff in my mouth that had an awful taste, then I couldn't swallow it which was also a difficult task. Then I had to put my chin on some weird machine and had to keep my mouth in an awkward position for a few minutes. After more x-rays, and keeping my mouth in awkward positions and digging and drilling, the process was complete. They took the final picture and then showed it to me and I was so happy! They were sparkly white and straight. It was life changing for me. Certain things about my appearance I try not to focus on so much or knitpick about but, I did feel pretty bad about my teeth because in my head it seemed like it degraded my beauty. Even the days I felt happy and felt like smiling, I wouldn't smile my brightest. I always said "I would look so much better if my teeth were straight. And yes, I began to do the comparison thing where I'd look at pictures or just everyday people and notice their smile and begin to feel really down on myself. I probably should've had a bit of a different outlook on the situation but, at the moment I couldn't see it any differently. All in all, I believe that improving my smile was definitely a positive decision.

Going to See Onerepublic -
It may seem silly, but yes it really was a great day for me. Onerepublic has been my favorite band for about 4 years now and I like them for a lot of good reasons. They are honestly some talented gentlemen haha. I love how they get creative with their sounds and lyrics. Unlike most pop songs nowadays has the same sound and pretty much the same topics. There's honestly nothing wrong with singing about love but, we do experience different things in life other than falling in love or going through a breakup. Though Onerepublic does have some love songs of their own, they also aren't afraid to touch on other topics as well. Onerepublic inspires me as a musical artist myself. Going to see them live and hearing all of my favorite songs brought me joy.

The Disney Days -
Oh boy do I miss being a kid. At around the age of 10-14 Disney was my life! (Not saying that was necessarily a good thing lol) but, I always had it on radio Disney and Disney channel. Disney was like the best thing created in my eyes. I loved High School Musical, Hannah Montana, Camp Rock you name it. And oh, don't get me started on my obsession with the Jonas Brothers. I don't agree with how crazy I was about Disney and Disney stars but as I look back on all the concerts and tv soecials, there was no denying how fun it was. I mean, I was a kid so you gotta have fun as a kid if you never do as an adult haha.

My First Time Being Apart of My church 's Easter Production 
The Easter Production at my church is a huge thing for our church. It is one of the busiest time of year. It seems like everyone from longtime members to new members are apart of it. It's really a exciting time for our church and my whole family. SO, the first two years I was in it the production, being apart of the choir scenes and such. Then I started helping out in various areas such as, ushering, greeting, Cafe worker and makeup team. I truly had a blast serving in each ministry! I even met some great friends through the production. I am so happy that I have been able to be apart of this great production for so long and I look forward to many more years.

So folks, there's many great memories that could be named but to be honest, I cannot remember them all in detail. However, I can remember generally remember some things that did happen. From getting my permit, many amazing concerts, great hangouts with friends, seeing miracles happen in front of my very eyes and more! Please please feel free to share some special memory of yours. I have a few more posts is like to put out before the year is over so I'm sooo hoping that I'll be able to do that.

Until next time, love yourself and love life. And if you guys don't hear from me until next year, have a safe and happy holiday. 

Kammy 👋💕

And the Leaves Came Tumbling Down

Well, fall has fallen. In the CT area the weather has seemed to be going through some different changes (it's been very hormonal haha), the weather continued to be warm, like in the 80's or so. It was nice but it made me think that Fall was going to take longer to come though I looked at the calendar and knew that it was definitely fall season. However, I noticed the change of leaves and I knew that fall was here but just taking it's time come in full swing.

Have you ever sat underneath a tree or took a walk during the fall time? I remember taking a walk one fall season and I remember a few leaves that fell first upon my nose and then tumbled down my shoulder. Of course the nature in me held on to the beautiful orange leaf and put it in my pocket. It felt a bit magical for me in that moment, it felt like having that leaf in my pocket meant something special. Almost like God was giving me just a little reminder just how extraordinary and beautiful he really is. Though I fear God and feel like God is so much bigger than my mind can even contain, I also imagine being gentle and quiet just like a little leaf falling on your shoulder. 

Today's post I wanted to just dive into a few ways that fall makes me feel, think of and become. I'll start by talking about the way it makes me feel.

Fall Feels 

Fall makes me feel relaxed, renewed and peaceful. This fall season, but not every fall season in particular has given me a new perspective on life. Fall Of course gives me chills but also warms my heart. Sitting by a fireplace with a warm latte in your hand at a coffee shop or your home adds some joy to my day. In that moment, I feel like I'm really embracing myself in God's presence and appreciating the more simple things in life. We really only have a short time to enjoy the fall foilage , so I'm going to savor it up!

Autumn On My Mind

Every season I suppose makes us think about different things. Winter makes me think about getting as much housework done as possible, spring makes me think about getting outside more and being active, summer makes me think about having cookouts, going to concerts, hanging out with friends and just having some real fun! Fall makes  me want to travel for some reason. Fall I believe is a great time to explore new sights and places. For me, the Fall season invites in a new atmosphere. I'm hoping to take a trip to Vermont or even somewhere closer by in the CT area to take some beautiful pictures of some amazing sights and to allow my mind to view the world in a new way.


Have you ever had a season of ENERGY!? You're just excited and starting new things and really plugging in to a routine? Or what about a season of pain... you know, you've maybe experienced loss, have a sense of pending doom, or just want to be alone? I'm sure you're familiar with SAD- Seasonal Affective Disorder- right? A ll those factors noted above play into how we interpret our personal experiences. And our perspective determines our outlook, right?
For example, the autumn season can be a season on new beginnings- new school terms, new jobs, new colors, new routines.But, it can also bring about some unwelcome adjustments- shorter days, less sunlight, the upcoming winter, and probably some busier schedules for many of us.
This fall season, I want to start planning how I can start combating some of the less desirable changes. I can do some outdoor activity, perhaps shifting my schedule to be sure I can be in enough natural sunlight. This is very important for mental health and can really make a difference in your perceptions of your motivation levels!

So, this fall season, I plan to take time to just really enjoy life whether that being, cozying near a fireplace and sipping on a coffee while reading a good book, taking a walk to feel the cool, crisp air, or maybe I'll even take a trip up to Vermont!

I hope you and i can find something this seasonal change that connects to you and your season for being your best you. Remember, the motivation to change or do is always there... it is our focus that likes to get caught up or lost along the way!

Writer forever,


The Miracle Girls: Book Review

I'm sure most of you guys remember me going on a rant about the lack of availability for inspirational/christian books. Well, let me just say that I have finally stumbled upon a good read for once. The Miracle Girls was everything that I have been looking for in a book. It offered a little bit of everything from comedy to romance to encouragement. I enjoyed every second of this book. I'll give you guys a description of the book and highlight some of the best parts of the book:

A new town. A new school. Middle of nowhere. Ana Dominguez’ life couldn’t get worse. Then, she meets them—Riley, Zoe, and Christine. Just like Ana, each girl is haunted by a secret, a moment that changed her life forever.

Ana was born with a heart defect and never should have made it. Zoe saw her life flash before her eyes as she was dragged behind a horse. Christine walked away without a scratch from the car accident that killed her mother. Riley was pulled under by a wave but washed ashore unharmed. Each survived something that should have killed her. Each is a real life miracle. And Ana knows that God saved them for a reason.

As Ana navigates the ups and down of freshman year, these four strangers are brought together in ways they never expected, and as they try to understand what it is God wants for them, they slowly discover that maybe what they needed all along was each other. A heartwarming story of faith, friendship, and following your heart, The Miracle Girls is a young adult novel that reminds us that miracles are all around us.

The Miracle Girls is a four-book young adult fiction series. The novels focus around four very different girls, each living out her faith in the modern world.

Highlights of the book

Ana chose to speak up in class when she should have remained silent and her choice got her into trouble. During detention she and the other students were given an assignment and she found out that she had something in common with some of the girls in her class. One of the girl's, Zoe, didn't think it was a coincidence that they shared similar experiences; she felt that she, Ana, Christine and Riley had been thrown together for a reason. Soon after, Ana, Zoe and Christine called themselves 'The Miracle Girls' - they are here for purpose; they just needed to figure out what that purpose was. Zoe also had to figure out how she was going to get Riley to join. Not that Ana was sure she wanted the most popular girl in school to be included.

I also really loved the part when Dave (the guy that Ana liked) comes to sit with Ana in the sanctuary and puts his arm around her aww 😍 and another cute part about Dave and Ana is at her Quince when he danced with her and I THINK they kissed but now that I'm rereading it i'm not finding that part hehe. Dave and Ana's relationship was unpredictable. I thought in the beginning that she really liked Tyler but then the tables turned and she began to have feelings for Dave. I thought Dave was a jerk at first but he ended up proving himself as a decent, thoughtful and sweet gentleman. 

There was some pretty tough that left me unsure what was going to partake next. But the results of everything was put together so perfectly and I loved that. These Miracle girls prove that teenagers can be smart and caring, with hopes to make their lives and their world a better place with them in it. t really shows how young girls get their feelings hurt and how they see the world as they are growing into mature young women. They deal with peers, parents, teachers, and others while they try to make their own decision. . I loved reading a book about teenagers without sex, drugs ,and cursing. 

The Miracle Girls helped me to realize that I can't take life for granted and how vitally important it is to have true friends. I have struggled in keeping friends but this book was like God telling me that there's still hope. I know how important it is to have people in your life but I don't know if devotionals or the bible ever talks about the parts where it's hard to actually find and keep friends in your life. Anyway, let me stop rambling, I'll save that topic for another blog. 

That's my review without completely spoiling it for you guys. I hope that you would consider reading it for yourself and share your thoughts about it! 

~Kammy 💗

What My Music Taste Says About Me

Music today has become so diversed, I even think about how much Christian music has changed. Of course, there was a such thing called "Christian Rock" back in the 90's and maybe even 80's but when I was growing up, it felt like a nonexistent thing.

I remember there was a time when I only stayed in my radio disney box and didn't bother listening to any other music that radio disney didn't play. It wasn't the worst idea considering I wanted to be able to listen to something wholesome. However, as I got older and had some electronic devices that allowed me to find music different ways, I began to broaden my music choices. I believe I started out still staying in my somewhat "radio disney box", listening to pop artists similar to what radio disney has or would play like Michelle Branch, Natasha Bedingfield and Colbie Caillat. But, thankfully to itunes and the internet, I was able to broaden my music choices even more. Later, I began to download songs by Green Day (the clean versions of their songs), Three Days Grace, and Flyleaf and slowly started to enjoy music by similar types of artist. What was cool about Flyleaf is that, though I first discovered them on secular radio stations, I discovered that their hit song "All Around Me" was actually a song about God and that they're a Christian Rock band. First of all, it was mind blowing to me that Christian artists were played on secular radio stations and secondly, I was happy that Christian music can sound this  good! From then on, Flyleaf has become one of my favorite bands and has become such an inspiration to me.

My music taste says that I can be a bit daring at times and unpredictable. I mean, you wouldn't think that a girl who loves keds, loves headbands and scarves, and sparkly nail polish would like a song by Three Days Grace or Shinedown would you? I don't think I would at least. I'd defintely say "yeah, she looks like someone who would be into some quieter music like Regina Spektor or Birdy" or I may say "she might even like someone like Rachel Platten or Ingrid Michaelson but never a hard rock band like Three Days Grace. Sometimes we do hit it on the nose as far as figuring out people's music taste by their appearance but oftentimes, there's a whole different story behind the bearded man that drives a pickup truck or the goth chick with all the dark clothes and makeup.

All in all, I believe my music taste says that I’m not someone who can be easily figured out, I’m shy but will speak my mind when I need to. It says that I love being energetic. Music tells so many stories even in one song, and it’s not always the artist or songwriters themselves, but the listeners as well. The artists don’t even realize sometimes how much their lyrics that are so profound and well written could have such a huge effect on us. For me, I know that God gets all the credit for carrying me through my struggles but, I also feel that God has given me great music to also help motivate me through my struggles.

Music can either leave a positive impact on our lives or a negative however, there’s no doubt that it does say a lot about our personalities. That’s one of the first questions that I ask people during first meetups, “what type of music do you like?” Or “what’s your favorite song?” It’s a great way to get a sense of the type of person they are.

My question for you guys is... what does your music taste say about you? Sound it off in the comments below.

This was a fun and short blog. It’s greta to post some of these kinds occasionally. Hope you enjoyed it!

Until next time,


The Journey of an Aspiring Writer and Why I Took a Break from Writing

Greetings all, boy it feels so good to blog again! I feel the excitement in my fingers. 

On behalf of that, I hope that all of my blog readers have been doing well and have not felt that I've forgotten about you. I want to make it my priority to connect with my blog readers whether I know you or not, I feel that it's important to recognize those who support you because those people that are here with me right now in the very beginning stages of my writing career, will be the people that will be with me until the end. With that being said, my hope is that on my blog I won't just talk about my life, but I'll ask questions that'll help me to get to know you guys as well! 

Today I wanted to give you guys an update on my writing journey and the reason I felt I needed a break. Let's begin!

It was just before the beginning of summer and I was so excited about writing about my summer adventures and life happenings. After I posted my recent blog, I immediately started working on my next posts for the summer and so on. But once my most recent blog was posted for about a week, I noticed the small amount of viewers. I looked at my statistics everyday and i began to feel really disappointed. I thought to myself "I put so much work into my blog and all I get is 6 people that care to view it?" I would see other bloggers or social media stars with thousands of views of either a video or a instagram post and I really would sit there and wonder "why?" these people are posting about meaningless things in my opinion, they're fun and entertaining but who will it encourage at the end of the day? Don't get me wrong, it's great to have fun in life and talk about fun things. My goal isn't to be so serious on my blog all the time but I would want it to at least leave you feeling positive in some way. Yet, the most popular videos or social media posts are probably of people talking about stupid and sometimes inappropriate things. 

After I was through with my frustration with social media, I began to feel like it's pointless for me to invest so much time and energy for only 5 people to read. How will I ever have a career like this? The same story that i've been trying to write has been left unattended with the same 3 pages filled, my blog has a handful of people that read my hours of hard work blogs. That was when I said, 'I don't know if this is really my calling" I know people have writer's block and everything but I feel like I have those moments very too often. So, after continuous negative talk, I decided that I needed a break. I felt that all of my writing projects seemed unfuliling. I had even began to have thoughts about quitting writing altogether. I felt that it would be ok to quit since I don't have any books published or something that I've written that was really memorable. I would get feedback about my writing but not a lot of feedback. But from then on, I did not pick up a pen and paper and my keyboard since.

What I Learned During My Break 
I learned to pace myself. A lot of the time why my writing didn't feel good to me is because I rushed myself and sometimes put way too much pressure on myself. Though writing is a job for me, I began to suck the joy and passion that I have for writing; it became more like a competition than anything. I found myself trying to follow up with what the latest bloggers or social mediest (I totally just made that up) are doing. I didn't feel like my writing skills were natural like they once were. I always said that whatever I write I want it to feel like me and that if my writing ever stopped  feeling like me that I would either quit or take a break. 

During my break, I also learned to not beat myself up about every little mistake that I make as a writer. We hear it all the times that you learn from your mistakes and that I certainly did and am still learning to this day.  I know that my mistakes will shapen me as a writer and as a person. I even thought that it was a good idea for me to write about my mistakes, to add them in my bio or a memoir one day. I also know that I will never be perfect, I can't continue to strive for perfection because that'll never happen. I'll always feel like i'm not getting there as long as my focus is to be perfect. 

I learned to just be myself. I learned to love who I am and not feel like I have to compete with everyone else. I learned to just freely express myself through writing, after all, that's what made me fall in love with writing in the first place. I learned to not focus so much on the amount of people that see it, I'm focusing on the person that I'm becoming through it. Whether it's 1 peron or 1,000 my hope is that they'll know the real me and know my story. Also, I hope that they feel something from it as well. I hope after reading each and every one of my blogs that they'll feel happy, inspired, encouraged and even find a bit of laughter by reading my blogs. 

During my break, I didn't necessarily learn this but, I realized that I needed to put continuous effort and commitment to my writing. I feel that I go in spurts with my writing. I get on this wriing high and then once I'm off of it that's it for awhile. So, whatever I'm writing, whether it's one word or three paragraphs, I need to write something daily. 

Recently I shared on instagram about my writing hiatus and how I felt down a lot and a bit lonelier and a bit more insecure. I sometimes really didn't have good days. I would just get so frustrated with my life that I just needed to immediately take a run somewhere. Thankfully, I attacked my emotions before they could attack me much worse. Partly I knew that it was satan really having his way with me and partly I knew it was myself also. Allowing myself to go down that path once again that I said I wouldn't go on. God allowed me to go through a little bit of pain so that I can resist control and give all the control to him. I love this part in a song titled "Thy Will" in the song it says, "Sometimes I gotta stop and remember that you're God and I am not." I can't do God's job, but time after time I failed to see that. He knows everything much better than I do, I needed to trust in him wholeheartedly that he was going to fulfil every promise he ever made. 

After reading some devotionals about success and dreams, I finally made my decision to comeback to writing. I couldn't figure out what was missing in my life but God revealed it to me, i needed to start writing again. God knew that writing was one of the ways that I was able to release my emotions and frustrations. I also know that my writing may be able to help someone else someday. Writing is an excellent way that I can use my voice. 

And the journey continues... 
I feel like taking this break was definitely necessary. Though it was only a short break, I knew that I needed it to allow myself to grow in many ways. I needed to recharge, go deeper with God, free my mind, and rest. I know i'm still going to have some days where I get frustrated with my writing and feeling like i'm not getting anywhere but, in those moments, I pray that I would listen to what God has to say and not my emotions. This feels like the next phase to my writing journey. I pray to be able to do whatever I can to help further my career as a writer. I know there's a lot more that I can do. I pray that I can meet authors that would be willing to give me great advice, attend writing conferences, and continue with my classes. I have gotten a creative writing journal that is filled with exercises and at least that way, it's easier for me to write regularly by having tasks. 

I actually enjoy the challenges sometimes that comes with being a writer. I feel like the more frustrated I get the better I write. I sometimes am not great at writing what people like but, I hope people would understand the concept of my blog and that it isn't meant to be like a magazine where you'll constantly be entertained; but it's a blog that would motivate you and to leave a positive impact on your life. I am always open to any suggestions though, because a little help or word of advice goes a long way. 

Through every bumbs and hurdles, I feel a little bit more courage and confidence as far as how I will handle the next situation and how I'll let the next situation handle me. I'm praying that the next time I write a blog about my writing that it would be about an opportunity that opened up, or another challenge that I overcame or just the new things that I'm learning as a writer. I don't when, where or how the right opportunity will come but I'm going to leave it in God's hands regardless. Upon reading this devotional about God's will, this particular part really struck out to me, "I don't know what decisions you are looking to make today, but I've learned that we don't always need a big sign from Heaven to go ahead with our plans. Yes, pray about it. Do your research, and seek wise counsel. These will help discern whether the path you're about to embark on is God pleasing-- and if it is, can I encourage you to pack your bags, and just go for it?"

YES! Kamera, this is confirmation. I'm ready to go for it God. 

Well, this was a really great comeback post because it was one of the first ones where I was able to get really raw. I love how a tough time turned into a time of rejoicing, how my writing began to feel so natural again and how I was able to display every feeling and thoughts during one of the most difficult times of my life. God reminded me that it's ok to admit when you're struggling because he understands and he's there to hold my hand. 

 Thank you to everyone for sticking around with me. Thanks for reading. THANK YOU FOR EVERTHING!

Much luv, kammy

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