My Aim and My Gain for 2019 part 2

Greetings lovelies, I recently posted part 1 of "My Aim and My Gain for 2019" where I talked about what my aim is for 2019. Now, in part 2 I'm going to talk about "my gain" for 2019. Let's dive right into it.



My Gain for 2019 

 Confidence - Some of you who may know me on a more personal level are aware of some of my insecurities. I was even unsure how I would pull off having a blog and still question myself about how I will progress in both my blogging and writing journey. Gaining confidence may be a thing that takes time for me and I'm sure there's even plenty of other people out there who struggles with confidence. It's not that I feel like I suck at everything, it's just that I don't know if I'll ever get better at things.

 Take writing for instance, I have been writing since I was about 7 years old and at that age have just thought of writing as just a fun and exciting adventure. But as I got older, I didn't have fun with it as much and didn't even write as much as I did when I was younger. It's because I felt like I had been staring at the same pages forever and have not written much more of a story since I started it several years ago. My writing is the area where I have the least confidence. Though I love writing very much, there's times where I wonder if I really capable of going where I really want to go with my writing.

 But lately I've been reading plans about purposes and callings and by reading those devotionals, it had seemed to help make my hopes and dreams come back alive. Firstly, I need to have confidence in God that he has given me a purpose to live out here on earth and that even when I stumble, he'll pick me up and help me start again. Some of the most successful people who lose sometimes. The world's greatest athlete will lose a game every now and then, the best songwriter will not always make a #1 hit single, the best chef will forget an important ingredient in a meal sometimes, it's just because we are all imperfect humans. So, though I may go several months or so without writing much more to my story and stay stuck in writer's block for quite a long time, doesn't mean that God isn't using me me during those times. 

I hope this year that I'll gain more confidence in the areas more I need it most: socially, spiritually and literaturely (if that's even a word). God has given me my own uniqueness, creativity, and abilities even if it takes me time to see it or embrace it.



Patience - Waiting has taken so much energy out of me at times. It seems like there's countless things on my list that I'm waiting for, career opportunities, freedom, healthier relationships, etc... so I often think to myself, "if I'm waiting for so many things to happen, what is it that I can actually enjoy now?" I'm sure there's things that'll come to mind but of course because I'm human, I tend to disregard those things and continue to dwell on the things that I don't have. Having patience can be a healthy and helpful thing, while at the same time it can be tiring and painful depending on the thing that you have to have patience with or for. Being a patient person I believe is good practice because in my opinion it makes you feel more calm. Patience makes you healthier. Patience is an important tool in overcoming frustration. Patience allows us to suspend judgment long enough to make informed decisions, thus paving the path to a happy and peaceful life. I don't want to find myself rushing around all the time in life and wanting everything right here right now. Having more patience will help me to enjoy what I have right now and not keep being down about what I don't have.



More Faith - There's been many big situations in my life where I had to truly rely on faith. Trying to believe that a solution will appear for a problem that seems very difficult and trying to think on the "bright side" so to say was almost something that seemed insane for me to do. But the thing is, faith isn't a magic spell or some sort of potion, in Hebrews 11:1 it tells us this, "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." Simply put, the biblical definition of faith is 'trusting in something you cannot explicitly prove"My prayer is that the next time I'm faced with a difficult situation I'll trust that God put me in this situation and will take me out of it. Not only will he take me out of it, but he'll provide comfort, peace and rest during my time of trials. I hope to choose to look at the greater possibilities instead of thinking of the "what ifs" all the time. God has so much to offer to us in this life, but at times he'll test us and see how long we will really trust him. It's like when your mom doesn't want to give their child any treats until they've eaten their dinner or have done the chores or homewok. Most likely, the child obeys and do whatever it may take to get that special treat by the end of the night and they trust that their parents will keep their word by giving it to them after they've done what they were requested. That's the way I think of God, he may have a few requirements from us before we are able to truly enjoy great gifts and/or blessings that he has under his table. 



Joy - Maybe joy isn't something you can gain but, whatever way I can get it I certainly want more of it. I've felt that joy escapes me at times, first, I don't know what will really give us joy, I just don't know myself that well. Secondly, we search outside ourselves for joy or happiness - in a job, a family, a title, a paycheck, a fancy house. As a result, joy is constantly out of my control and a perpetual moving target that never stands still long enough for me to grasp. I'm not saying that these things don't bring joy - of course, they can. The key point is that if everything you're searching for remains outside of you, you'll always be scrambling and chasing. The bible tells us in Nehemiah 8:10 " And do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength." The joy of the Lord is unceasing, unwavering, and powerful. There's nothing else in this life that can give us complete joy like Our Heavenly Father can. Surely we can find joy in relationships, in our careers, in materalistic things, but real and complete joy starts first with God. If we don't have joy in God, we will often have a hard time finding joy in other areas of our lives. I was reading a devotional about joy at one point and come across some of this guided prayer regarding joy:


Guided Prayer:
1.    Meditate on the strength that comes from joy alone.
2.    What care, thought, or burden is keeping me from the fullness of joy today?
3.    Surrender every area of my life to the capable hands of God and enter into the joy that comes from dependent relationship with your Creator


Honestly, I feel that I can add so much more to this list on behalf on bettering myself or somehow wanting something more of but, I think I'll just save the rest for my memoir haha. However, I hope that you have enjoyed this little segment of "My Aim and My Gain" I hope it has inspired you in some way and have encouraged you to maybe make a list of your own. I love seeing everyone's feedback about  any of my post. This year I really am aiming to make my blog better than ever. I want to take time to make each post meaningful, fun, uplifting and professional. My hope is that people may want to read my blog posts multiple times and even share it with friends and family. I also hope one day that my blogging and writing journey will turn into a successful business of mine. God is on the move (as he always is) and I really am ready for whatever he has in store for me. Even if that means I have to wait a little bit longer in order to really live out my dreams. I am really ready to challenge myself this year and bring on my "A" game. I am ready and willing to further myself as a woman and to become more and more responsible (did I say this already?) anywho, 2019 I WILL BRING IT!

Peace, Love, Writing 

Happy New Year

- Kammy😊💛💚💜💙



My Aim and my Gain for 2019 (My Goals and Desires for 2019) Part 1

Well, I've told you the "what happens" of 2018 but now it's time to discuss about where I want to be in 2019 followed by my goals, hopes and desires for 2019.

I titled this blog post "My Aim and My Gain" because I am aiming to look for ways to change something about me, my circumstances and my views and thoughts to help better my life. I also hope to gain something in this new year, whether that being confidence, faith, patience, discipline, etc.... So, I'll start off with the 'aiming" segment and then the "gaining" segment.

My Aim for 2019 

Not Worrying So Much - For several years I have been quite the worrier I would say. I would say that it could be because I am a big planner and when things don't go as planned, I begin to worry and question my planning skills. Also, I don't just worry when things don't go as planned but when I begin to see more problems happening than good things. Another thing that makes me worry is the pressure of making decisions. A lot of times decision making and wondering the outcome of a decision I'm making makes me cringe and gives me extreme headaches and stomaches. My worrying has taken me through some dramatic turns and I feel like I'm really at the point where I feel like I have to put an end to this. Worrying has drain so much energy out of me both mentally and physically. The bible tells us in Matthew 6:25 "Therefore I tell you , do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?" God cares so much about us more than we could ever know. Maybe I don't have everything I need or want in life at the moment, maybe I don't always know what the best decision is to make but I don't have to fear because my Heavenly Father knows every single thing that's going on in my life and he has ways of helping me that I could ever imagine.

Be More Courageous - I've always loved my comfort zones, but lately my comfort zones have not seemed to get me anywhere thus far. I mean, of course we all have to take precautions at times and not just do anything but, in life opportunities and such aren't just going to arrive at your doorstep, you have to go out there and get it and sometimes that means taking big, risky steps. I know there's big things in my life that I'd like to see change but of course, it requires me to take some really courageous steps. The thing is, I've settled for the fact that courage is something that's just not in me. The few times I've practiced courage went downhill and ever since then, I don't feel like I can muster up anymore courage or strength. But what I also think about is the health of my lifestyle; sometimes I think to myself  "If I only were courageous enough or strong enough to face this fear or situation my life would probably take a better turn." So, my prayer is that God will help me be more courageous this year and I know once I do begin to be more courageous, I believe I'll begin to see some positive changes in my life.

Be More Independent - I believe from a very young age we all like to find ways where we can achieve something on our own. From taking our first steps to taking our driving lessons. Being independent can do a lot to anyone's confidence. Throughout my life, I feel I have always been at the "baby steps" stage. I don't feel like I've progressed much. It had seemed life my teens had gone by so quickly! Then, I was in my twenties and I still found myself unprepared for numerous amount of things. For me, even doing the smallest of task on my own makes me feel so good. Things such as, banking, grocery shopping, doing laundry, etc... makes me feel like I am well on my way to establishing my own life. I know that there's a lot of steps that I still have to take to get myself on my feet but, you gotta start somewhere. Growing up in a christian home has been a tremendous blessing; but at the same time I tend to feel like it's harder to kind of venture out. I don't plan on doing foolish things but, I have felt like I've become accustomed  to a more "safe" way of living. I always want to make sure I'm cautious and everything but sometimes I find myself being overly cautious and am still used to having that adult supervision in my life and forgetting that I am not in my child days anymore where mommy and daddy hold your hand and tell you to be careful of dangerous things. So, it's been a tough road for me trying to do this adulting thing, but I'm confident that God will help me and provide whatever he feels I need.

Develop stronger connections with friends - There's people that I feel like I've known forever but haven't necessarily gotten to know them know them if that makes sense. Well, I did say I "feel" like I know them but technically I've only seen them several times and have not had many social encounters with them. However, recently I began to reach out to some of these people and have had a desire to get to know them better. I feel like these people are cool and nice people and why should I continue to ignore the possibility of a great friendship. It has been a bit of a task for me to spend time with friends in the past and it has made me sad sometimes and I would pray and ask God how I could fix this. I know that you probably get to know people best when you spend time with them. So, that's what I have decided that I really want to do this year. I'm willing to take the bus to meet that friend closer to where they live or whatever way works best. But God puts certain people in our path for certain reasons and I don't want to continue to ignore this purpose that I have with these people. I also know that things take time to truly develop but, you gotta start somewhere. It's a scary thing for me making friends but also exciting. It's something that's pretty new to me actually but i'm ready to hop on the ride and see where it leads me! Check out this great devotional about friendships in a similar way that I just talked about it:

It’s said that the average Facebook user has 200 or more “friends”. But can anyone really have 200 real friends? Can anyone really have 20 real friends?
Making friends when you’re in middle school is tough. Walking into a lunchroom not knowing a soul can feel terrifying. You would think by the time you’re an adult you wouldn’t struggle to make friends, but I’m convinced that nothing changes. In fact, I believe the older you get, the harder it is to make friends. 
Then once you make a friendship, you now need to keep the friendship, and not all friendships have the same lifespan. Distance increases while contact decreases. They still like to spend their Friday nights tracking down a great party, and you prefer to stay at home. They started dating someone. You got married. They moved. Priorities changed and a friendship that use to fit into your life is now out-of-place. The hard reality we all have to face is that the majority of our current friendships have an expiration date. So how can you know the difference between a seasonal or permanent relationship?
Here’s the bottom line: you can’t control your friends or their seasons. Regardless if your friendship circle (or your squad) is seasonal or permanent … you should look at those people through this healthy lens: it’s a group of people God has given you for this season to accomplish His will. You’re not just friends because you have common interest. You’re not just friends because you went to the same school. God orchestrated your paths to cross for a mission.
If you fail to realize the purpose for something, you will always misuse or abuse it. There is a divine purpose for each friendship you have and you should be intentional about each one. Proverbs tells us that, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” God has given you people around you to help you get through the darkest times. And God has put you in other people’s lives to get them through their darkest times as well. 
With this devotional I want you to take inventory of your friends, your squad, and I want to give you some goals you should have for your part in those relationships. Over the next week, I want us to take some pointers from the word of God as to how to do friendships well.
(ESV) Acts 2:44 And all who believed were together and had all things in common. 45 And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. I love this picture of the New Testament church. Everyone pitched in to make sure everyone’s needs were met. What might your friendships looked like if you adopted a similar mentality? What would happen if you viewed everything you had as an asset to help other people. Here’s the first squad goal you should have for yourself and your friends.
Goal #1: Give more than you receive. 
If I asked you why some of your friendships didn't make it from your past to your present, how often would your answer start with "they did…" or "they didn't..."? If you did a painful inventory of your current friendships, how many of them are mostly focused on you, how you're treated, if they do all the things a best friend "should" do, etc. Here's a great verse to consider:
(ESV) Romans 12:10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. At the core of every important relationship you have, this verse should be the anthem. Whether it’s your friends, family, or co-workers, you should live with a spirit that is trying to outdo them in showing honor. You can’t control how your friends treat you, but you can inspire them by how you treat them. I don’t want to be friends with anyone where I’m in the relationship because of what I receive from them. 
The best marriages and friendships are the ones that are consistently trying to outdo one another in showing honor. 
Can you imagine what your friendships would look like if you viewed your time, money, and talents as vessels to be a blessing to others? Who is one person in your squad right now that you could and should show honor to today? No one ever sits down to make a list of what everyone should be doing for them, because we naturally do it in our heads. Instead, why not be the rare person who sits down to make a list of what you could do for others?


That wraps up part 1 of "My aim and My Gain for 2019". I didn't want to bore you guys with too much reading in one blog post! I know that part 1 is probably enough to read on its own. Stay tuned for part 2 of this segment but for now, please enjoy reading part 1 and fee free to tell me some of your goals and plans for 2019. The beginning of the New Year is a pretty exciting thing and it's also a time where I really want to make a change.

So long, until next time... 


-Kammy💗😊

In 2018 I... (My year end review part 2)

Well, we are already in a week of 2019!

Spam Fasting
I have spent this first week of 2019 fasting. My sister kayla had read this book called The Prayer of Jabez back when she was a young teen and the book had a little part in it about spam fasting, which means: Spiritual Preparation and Meditation. I picked up the book and read it one day and was encouraged to begin a spam fast. You can pretty much fast from anything from food to music, to internet anything. Here's some examples of spam fasting:



Having trouble looking for certain posts and articles? I pray that God will use this guide to help you during your SPAM Fast.
“Video Games Fast”
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“Secular Television Fast”
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Rock and Roll Fast
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Negative Emotions Fast

As I began to take spam fasts, I felt like life was more meaningful. I felt like God took a higher  position in my life and that by sacrificing some of the things I enjoy and spend a lot of my time on, I wanted to continue to live that kind of lifestyle by loving God more than anything else in the world. What I also realized when I spam fast is that some of the things I watch or listen to is something I shouldn't even probably engage in. Not that the things I watched or listened to were filled with filth but, some things you watch or listen to can make you feel so stupid or make you sometimes think in wrong ways or feel wrong ways. Sometimes the things we watch or listen to can leave such a huge affect on us. Don't get me wrong, I love music and movies and I have many favorite bands and movies, but what I'm saying is sometimes I get so caught up in just loving or enjoying these things alone that I forget about what the most satisfying thing is that could ever walk the earth, Jesus Christ. I want to invest my time and energy in doing things for Jesus and living for Jesus as much or even more that I do for my favorite movie or favorite band. And that's what spam fasting means to me.

So, now that you know all about my spam fast experience, let me dive into part 2 about the most highlighted moments of 2108. 

In 2018 I... Went to the Storyteller's Cottage. I have had a desire to visit this place that offers many writing classes and events since I had saw an ad in Starbucks around spring of 2018. One day I finally decided to take a tour of the place and when I walked in, it felt like I walked inside a magical book! It really was exactly what I thought and hoped it be. There was a Harry Potter room, a tea party room, a wizard room and more! I was truly amazed. I then decided to take some classes at the storyteller's cottage. The first class I took there was a great learning experience. It was very clear and the teacher provided great tips. By taking the tour and participating in a few classes, it gave me more of a thrill and motivation as a writer. 

In 2018 I... Formed new friendships. In the past few years, I have had a hard time making friends. I don't know what it was but I just either had a hard time because I'm sort of an introvert or that I don't go many places or whatever the case is. However, this year I began to take initiative; I wanted to get to know more people and even the people that I sort of already know. i've taken initiative towards forming friendships with people from work and church. When I got the courage to go past the initial "Hello" it had ended turning out more positive and productive than I thought. I began to come out of my shell and slowly get to know people in my own way and at my own level. By not fearing to reach out to friends, especially when I'm going through some difficulties or some complicated things, I received great support and care from my friends. Even though I don't hang out with any of my friends on a regular basis, I'm thankful for the connection Goad has allowed me to have this far and I believe that he's still working and that his timing is always perfect. Sometimes I'm always blaming myself for ways that I haven't been a great friend. I find myself apopgizing and always trying to manage to fix things but then I realized that my friends aren't looking for perfection in me, they like me for just the way I am. So, I'm grateful for the learning experience I have had this year regarding friendships.

In 2018 I... made big changes spiritually, socially, educationally and more.... And God is not finished with me yet. He's turning things around for my good. What I see as a disappointment will be turned into a delight. Something I never could imagine would happen. In my next blog post, I'm going to talk about my goals and my hopes for 2019. I'll talk about ways that I want to change, things that I'd like to see changed, and things that I plan to do in the new year.

I hope you guys had a wonderful Christmas and a great New Year so far. There is greater things to come with my blog in 2019, so continue to stay up-to date on everything! I'm thankful and happy for the way God has used me through my blog and for the way it has grown and may have possibly encouraged someone.

Best wishes to you all!😘😊💜

Originating Change Within Me

 Recently, I made a list of ways that I have changed within the last ten years. I compared the things I wrote about and thought about in my ...