My Aim and My Gain for 2019 part 2

Greetings lovelies, I recently posted part 1 of "My Aim and My Gain for 2019" where I talked about what my aim is for 2019. Now, in part 2 I'm going to talk about "my gain" for 2019. Let's dive right into it.

My Gain for 2019 

 Confidence - Some of you who may know me on a more personal level are aware of some of my insecurities. I was even unsure how I would pull off having a blog and still question myself about how I will progress in both my blogging and writing journey. Gaining confidence may be a thing that takes time for me and I'm sure there's even plenty of other people out there who struggles with confidence. It's not that I feel like I suck at everything, it's just that I don't know if I'll ever get better at things.

 Take writing for instance, I have been writing since I was about 7 years old and at that age have just thought of writing as just a fun and exciting adventure. But as I got older, I didn't have fun with it as much and didn't even write as much as I did when I was younger. It's because I felt like I had been staring at the same pages forever and have not written much more of a story since I started it several years ago. My writing is the area where I have the least confidence. Though I love writing very much, there's times where I wonder if I really capable of going where I really want to go with my writing.

 But lately I've been reading plans about purposes and callings and by reading those devotionals, it had seemed to help make my hopes and dreams come back alive. Firstly, I need to have confidence in God that he has given me a purpose to live out here on earth and that even when I stumble, he'll pick me up and help me start again. Some of the most successful people who lose sometimes. The world's greatest athlete will lose a game every now and then, the best songwriter will not always make a #1 hit single, the best chef will forget an important ingredient in a meal sometimes, it's just because we are all imperfect humans. So, though I may go several months or so without writing much more to my story and stay stuck in writer's block for quite a long time, doesn't mean that God isn't using me me during those times. 

I hope this year that I'll gain more confidence in the areas more I need it most: socially, spiritually and literaturely (if that's even a word). God has given me my own uniqueness, creativity, and abilities even if it takes me time to see it or embrace it.

Patience - Waiting has taken so much energy out of me at times. It seems like there's countless things on my list that I'm waiting for, career opportunities, freedom, healthier relationships, etc... so I often think to myself, "if I'm waiting for so many things to happen, what is it that I can actually enjoy now?" I'm sure there's things that'll come to mind but of course because I'm human, I tend to disregard those things and continue to dwell on the things that I don't have. Having patience can be a healthy and helpful thing, while at the same time it can be tiring and painful depending on the thing that you have to have patience with or for. Being a patient person I believe is good practice because in my opinion it makes you feel more calm. Patience makes you healthier. Patience is an important tool in overcoming frustration. Patience allows us to suspend judgment long enough to make informed decisions, thus paving the path to a happy and peaceful life. I don't want to find myself rushing around all the time in life and wanting everything right here right now. Having more patience will help me to enjoy what I have right now and not keep being down about what I don't have.

More Faith - There's been many big situations in my life where I had to truly rely on faith. Trying to believe that a solution will appear for a problem that seems very difficult and trying to think on the "bright side" so to say was almost something that seemed insane for me to do. But the thing is, faith isn't a magic spell or some sort of potion, in Hebrews 11:1 it tells us this, "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." Simply put, the biblical definition of faith is 'trusting in something you cannot explicitly prove"My prayer is that the next time I'm faced with a difficult situation I'll trust that God put me in this situation and will take me out of it. Not only will he take me out of it, but he'll provide comfort, peace and rest during my time of trials. I hope to choose to look at the greater possibilities instead of thinking of the "what ifs" all the time. God has so much to offer to us in this life, but at times he'll test us and see how long we will really trust him. It's like when your mom doesn't want to give their child any treats until they've eaten their dinner or have done the chores or homewok. Most likely, the child obeys and do whatever it may take to get that special treat by the end of the night and they trust that their parents will keep their word by giving it to them after they've done what they were requested. That's the way I think of God, he may have a few requirements from us before we are able to truly enjoy great gifts and/or blessings that he has under his table. 

Joy - Maybe joy isn't something you can gain but, whatever way I can get it I certainly want more of it. I've felt that joy escapes me at times, first, I don't know what will really give us joy, I just don't know myself that well. Secondly, we search outside ourselves for joy or happiness - in a job, a family, a title, a paycheck, a fancy house. As a result, joy is constantly out of my control and a perpetual moving target that never stands still long enough for me to grasp. I'm not saying that these things don't bring joy - of course, they can. The key point is that if everything you're searching for remains outside of you, you'll always be scrambling and chasing. The bible tells us in Nehemiah 8:10 " And do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength." The joy of the Lord is unceasing, unwavering, and powerful. There's nothing else in this life that can give us complete joy like Our Heavenly Father can. Surely we can find joy in relationships, in our careers, in materalistic things, but real and complete joy starts first with God. If we don't have joy in God, we will often have a hard time finding joy in other areas of our lives. I was reading a devotional about joy at one point and come across some of this guided prayer regarding joy:

Guided Prayer:

1.    Meditate on the strength that comes from joy alone.

2.    What care, thought, or burden is keeping me from the fullness of joy today?

3.    Surrender every area of my life to the capable hands of God and enter into the joy that comes from dependent relationship with your Creator

Honestly, I feel that I can add so much more to this list on behalf on bettering myself or somehow wanting something more of but, I think I'll just save the rest for my memoir haha. However, I hope that you have enjoyed this little segment of "My Aim and My Gain" I hope it has inspired you in some way and have encouraged you to maybe make a list of your own. I love seeing everyone's feedback about  any of my post. This year I really am aiming to make my blog better than ever. I want to take time to make each post meaningful, fun, uplifting and professional. My hope is that people may want to read my blog posts multiple times and even share it with friends and family. I also hope one day that my blogging and writing journey will turn into a successful business of mine. God is on the move (as he always is) and I really am ready for whatever he has in store for me. Even if that means I have to wait a little bit longer in order to really live out my dreams. I am really ready to challenge myself this year and bring on my "A" game. I am ready and willing to further myself as a woman and to become more and more responsible (did I say this already?) anywho, 2019 I WILL BRING IT!

Peace, Love, Writing 

Happy New Year

- Kammy😊💛💚💜💙