I believe I’ll make "My Thoughts" a special segment of my blog. I have many things that I think about from day to day that I’d like to share with my blog readers.
Lately I’ve gotten a bit too sucked into the social media popularity thing. I find myself continuously trying to keep up with others and trying to be the person who has the most likes on a post or the most views on a video. As I saw the low numbers of my videos and no responses to my "ask me a question" post, I began to feel a bit sad. I begin to think to myself "I guess I’m not worth the time for people to ask me questions" or, "maybe I’m not interesting enough" I then told my friend about how I was feeling and he gave me great encouragement saying "Don’t let these things matter so much to you" and first I was like "well why not? If I get many likes and followers on instagram then I’ll have many people wanting to buy my books in the future" and he continued to say "Don’t let it worry you." So, I’m not saying this to tell others that social media is crap, it’s probably beneficial to many peoples use but mine, not so much lately. I think if I began to use it for pure pleasure of pictures and just sharing some cool things I see or experienced through pictures or videos it would be more beneficial to me. I must know my worth even if I don’t have many likes on my post or if I don’t have many views on my videos. I realize how much of an effect it had on me when no one wanted to ask me a question on my story post. I think if I continued to wait on others to make me happy it’ll always be temporary happiness. I even sometimes define friendships from instagram posts. I’d think to myself "this person didn’t like my post, they must not like me that much" or if anything instagram related I see lack of responses I began to feel that I don’t have many true friends.
That was part of the reason why I joined Instagram, to possibly gain more friends but now that that purpose of mine seems to be failing I have a different view of Instagram. I guess I’m a bit disgusted with the way it made me feel. I realized that it was me who had to change the way I use or feel about Instagram. I decided that it would be best for me to stay off of Instagram for awhile until I feel I’m ready to accept the fact that everyone may not be interested in what I’m saying or doing but I will do it just because I truly enjoy it. I will post about my new blog posts but I won’t have such high expectations as to who will read it. I can’t continue to let myself get sad over this.
If instagram isn’t the place where I’ll find friends then I will try the best source, which is in person. But what I’m saying is, I’m struggling with my friendships or gaining a friendship. So, my method right now is to just go with the flow of things. I can’t continue to worry myself about the same things day in and day out. God has put great people in my life for a great purpose and maybe it’s just not his time to reveal what that purpose is. He also will put other great people in my life in his time. And I believe he’ll help me overcome my negative thoughts and negative views of myself.
I love sharing these personal things like this. Writing is a great way to express yourself and that’s the best way that I feel like I can express myself.
That’s all for now. With love Kammy😊💞
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