Well, I've told you the "what happens" of 2018 but now it's time to discuss about where I want to be in 2019 followed by my goals, hopes and desires for 2019.
I titled this blog post "My Aim and My Gain" because I am aiming to look for ways to change something about me, my circumstances and my views and thoughts to help better my life. I also hope to gain something in this new year, whether that being confidence, faith, patience, discipline, etc.... So, I'll start off with the 'aiming" segment and then the "gaining" segment.
My Aim for 2019
Not Worrying So Much - For several years I have been quite the worrier I would say. I would say that it could be because I am a big planner and when things don't go as planned, I begin to worry and question my planning skills. Also, I don't just worry when things don't go as planned but when I begin to see more problems happening than good things. Another thing that makes me worry is the pressure of making decisions. A lot of times decision making and wondering the outcome of a decision I'm making makes me cringe and gives me extreme headaches and stomaches. My worrying has taken me through some dramatic turns and I feel like I'm really at the point where I feel like I have to put an end to this. Worrying has drain so much energy out of me both mentally and physically. The bible tells us in Matthew 6:25 "Therefore I tell you , do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?" God cares so much about us more than we could ever know. Maybe I don't have everything I need or want in life at the moment, maybe I don't always know what the best decision is to make but I don't have to fear because my Heavenly Father knows every single thing that's going on in my life and he has ways of helping me that I could ever imagine.
Be More Courageous - I've always loved my comfort zones, but lately my comfort zones have not seemed to get me anywhere thus far. I mean, of course we all have to take precautions at times and not just do anything but, in life opportunities and such aren't just going to arrive at your doorstep, you have to go out there and get it and sometimes that means taking big, risky steps. I know there's big things in my life that I'd like to see change but of course, it requires me to take some really courageous steps. The thing is, I've settled for the fact that courage is something that's just not in me. The few times I've practiced courage went downhill and ever since then, I don't feel like I can muster up anymore courage or strength. But what I also think about is the health of my lifestyle; sometimes I think to myself "If I only were courageous enough or strong enough to face this fear or situation my life would probably take a better turn." So, my prayer is that God will help me be more courageous this year and I know once I do begin to be more courageous, I believe I'll begin to see some positive changes in my life.
Be More Independent - I believe from a very young age we all like to find ways where we can achieve something on our own. From taking our first steps to taking our driving lessons. Being independent can do a lot to anyone's confidence. Throughout my life, I feel I have always been at the "baby steps" stage. I don't feel like I've progressed much. It had seemed life my teens had gone by so quickly! Then, I was in my twenties and I still found myself unprepared for numerous amount of things. For me, even doing the smallest of task on my own makes me feel so good. Things such as, banking, grocery shopping, doing laundry, etc... makes me feel like I am well on my way to establishing my own life. I know that there's a lot of steps that I still have to take to get myself on my feet but, you gotta start somewhere. Growing up in a christian home has been a tremendous blessing; but at the same time I tend to feel like it's harder to kind of venture out. I don't plan on doing foolish things but, I have felt like I've become accustomed to a more "safe" way of living. I always want to make sure I'm cautious and everything but sometimes I find myself being overly cautious and am still used to having that adult supervision in my life and forgetting that I am not in my child days anymore where mommy and daddy hold your hand and tell you to be careful of dangerous things. So, it's been a tough road for me trying to do this adulting thing, but I'm confident that God will help me and provide whatever he feels I need.
Develop stronger connections with friends - There's people that I feel like I've known forever but haven't necessarily gotten to know them know them if that makes sense. Well, I did say I "feel" like I know them but technically I've only seen them several times and have not had many social encounters with them. However, recently I began to reach out to some of these people and have had a desire to get to know them better. I feel like these people are cool and nice people and why should I continue to ignore the possibility of a great friendship. It has been a bit of a task for me to spend time with friends in the past and it has made me sad sometimes and I would pray and ask God how I could fix this. I know that you probably get to know people best when you spend time with them. So, that's what I have decided that I really want to do this year. I'm willing to take the bus to meet that friend closer to where they live or whatever way works best. But God puts certain people in our path for certain reasons and I don't want to continue to ignore this purpose that I have with these people. I also know that things take time to truly develop but, you gotta start somewhere. It's a scary thing for me making friends but also exciting. It's something that's pretty new to me actually but i'm ready to hop on the ride and see where it leads me! Check out this great devotional about friendships in a similar way that I just talked about it:
It’s said that the average Facebook user has 200 or more “friends”. But can anyone really have 200 real friends? Can anyone really have 20 real friends?
Making friends when you’re in middle school is tough. Walking into a lunchroom not knowing a soul can feel terrifying. You would think by the time you’re an adult you wouldn’t struggle to make friends, but I’m convinced that nothing changes. In fact, I believe the older you get, the harder it is to make friends.
Then once you make a friendship, you now need to keep the friendship, and not all friendships have the same lifespan. Distance increases while contact decreases. They still like to spend their Friday nights tracking down a great party, and you prefer to stay at home. They started dating someone. You got married. They moved. Priorities changed and a friendship that use to fit into your life is now out-of-place. The hard reality we all have to face is that the majority of our current friendships have an expiration date. So how can you know the difference between a seasonal or permanent relationship?
Here’s the bottom line: you can’t control your friends or their seasons. Regardless if your friendship circle (or your squad) is seasonal or permanent … you should look at those people through this healthy lens: it’s a group of people God has given you for this season to accomplish His will. You’re not just friends because you have common interest. You’re not just friends because you went to the same school. God orchestrated your paths to cross for a mission.
If you fail to realize the purpose for something, you will always misuse or abuse it. There is a divine purpose for each friendship you have and you should be intentional about each one. Proverbs tells us that, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” God has given you people around you to help you get through the darkest times. And God has put you in other people’s lives to get them through their darkest times as well.
With this devotional I want you to take inventory of your friends, your squad, and I want to give you some goals you should have for your part in those relationships. Over the next week, I want us to take some pointers from the word of God as to how to do friendships well.
(ESV) Acts 2:44 And all who believed were together and had all things in common. 45 And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. I love this picture of the New Testament church. Everyone pitched in to make sure everyone’s needs were met. What might your friendships looked like if you adopted a similar mentality? What would happen if you viewed everything you had as an asset to help other people. Here’s the first squad goal you should have for yourself and your friends.
Goal #1: Give more than you receive.
If I asked you why some of your friendships didn't make it from your past to your present, how often would your answer start with "they did…" or "they didn't..."? If you did a painful inventory of your current friendships, how many of them are mostly focused on you, how you're treated, if they do all the things a best friend "should" do, etc. Here's a great verse to consider:
(ESV) Romans 12:10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. At the core of every important relationship you have, this verse should be the anthem. Whether it’s your friends, family, or co-workers, you should live with a spirit that is trying to outdo them in showing honor. You can’t control how your friends treat you, but you can inspire them by how you treat them. I don’t want to be friends with anyone where I’m in the relationship because of what I receive from them.
The best marriages and friendships are the ones that are consistently trying to outdo one another in showing honor.
Can you imagine what your friendships would look like if you viewed your time, money, and talents as vessels to be a blessing to others? Who is one person in your squad right now that you could and should show honor to today? No one ever sits down to make a list of what everyone should be doing for them, because we naturally do it in our heads. Instead, why not be the rare person who sits down to make a list of what you could do for others?
That wraps up part 1 of "My aim and My Gain for 2019". I didn't want to bore you guys with too much reading in one blog post! I know that part 1 is probably enough to read on its own. Stay tuned for part 2 of this segment but for now, please enjoy reading part 1 and fee free to tell me some of your goals and plans for 2019. The beginning of the New Year is a pretty exciting thing and it's also a time where I really want to make a change.
So long, until next time...
-Kammy💗😊
